Steve: Buffalo.
Hot dogs.
Joe: You had them?
Steve: Yeah.
There’s still one in my fridge.
I’m going back for several pounds worth.
Gonna use them at the BBQ.
Joe: Are they good?
Or just cheap?
Steve: They are awesome.
No, anything but cheap.
They’re $6.99/lb.
But they’re worth it.
Whole Foods is selling them.
I bought the Whole Foods vegetable-fed all-beef hot dogs and the buffalo hot dogs.
Had one of each to compare.
Buffalo dogs blow the beef ones out of the water.
Joe: Sweet.
Steve: Now if I can just find some bear, some alligator and some venison…
This will be the greatest meatfest ever.
Joe: Ha.
Steve: Quite.
Bryan’s telling me he once had bear hot dogs at his uncle’s house.
And deer.
I’ve got him trying to find out where they came from.
I’ve actually found deer hot dogs and gator sausages online.
But I can’t find the bear ones.
Joe: Bear is tough since some bears are endangered.
Plus, I hear women attract bears. They’re attracted to the menstruation.
Steve: Black bear seems to be what most people sell.
But I’ve only found bear burgers.
And we may be out of luck because nobody ships bear to California.
Some grass-smoking hippie probably thinks it’s mean to eat bears and got himself elected to the state senate.
But I figure it’s definitely time to start diversifying my meat sources.
This is year five. Gotta start eating things that could eat us back.
Joe: I’m not sure why we don’t start with those meats.
I know we’re already at the top of the food chain, but those gosh darn lions are getting upity.
Steve: I think it’s easier to raise cows than lions.
Probably because you’d have to raise cows in order to feed the lions anyway.
So we figure, “Why not just eat the cows ourselves and the lions can go screw themselves?”
Joe: Yeah, freaking lions.
You know who hates humans?
Steve: Who?
Doug?
Joe: Sierra Mist.
Steve: Damn Sierra Mist!
You can’t even eat one out of revenge.
Because it’s a liquid.
And a gross one at that.
Joe: Sierra Mist tried to blow up a van in Times Square and then blamed it on a Pakistani.
Steve: Sierra Mist once gave birth to a baby. The baby turned out to be smallpox and it killed millions of people.
Joe: Sierra Mist encouraged Abraham Lincoln to select Andrew Johnson as vice president, then convinced John Wilkes Booth that Lincoln’s head was made of popcorn and thus impervious to bullets.
Steve: Sierra Mist is the reason why communism doesn’t work.
Joe: Sierra Mist invented polytheism.
Steve: Sierra Mist is keeping me from finding bear hot dogs.
Joe: Sierra Mist bought all the bear hot dogs and fed them to the buffalo. He then shot the buffalo.
Also, there are some eagles under the floor boards.
Wait, wrong bit.
Steve: Sierra Mist invented the gun just so millions of people could be killed by it.
Then it invented gun control to make sure only innocent people were hurt.
Joe: Sierra Mist raped 7-Up.
Steve: Sierra Mist gave my cat herpes.
Joe: Sierra Mist is going to give Greece $600 billion in debt in order for Greece to pay off its current debt, only to further their debt problems.
Yes, Steve. Sierra Mist is Europe.
Steve: Sierra Mist does not taste very good.
Joe: Not at all.
