Monthly Archives: July 2010

Inception: B/B+ from Steve, B+/A- from Joe (or: Is Chris Nolan trying to recreate his success through a clever use of posters?)

Joe: I can’t believe Christopher Nolan thinks that Inception was his idea. Only Danny Glover and I know the truth.

Steve: I can’t believe you and Danny Glover think that. Only Ernie Hudson, Don Rickles and I know the truth.

Joe: I really liked Inception, very well shot, well written and well acted.
Hard to find any flaws.

Steve: I agree with your first sentence, but not your second.
The highest compliment I can pay this movie was that it was so enjoyable and engaging that my mind immediately started latching onto the few things about it that prevented it from being perfect.
It’s one of only four good movies released so far this summer.
(The other three being Karate Kid, Toy Story 3 and Predators).
And Inception is the best of those and the only one of those four that isn’t a sequel or remake.
So hell yeah to that.

Joe: I thought it was original. The story was good and I liked the writing quite a bit.
Not sure why you disagree.

Steve: I don’t disagree on any one of those points. I definitely was into it but a few things bugged me.
First and foremost, Ellen Page.
Or more accurately, the relationship between her character and DiCaprio’s.
Not for one second did I buy that Ellen Page’s wide-eyed college student character could possibly have exerted any amount of control or authority, even through blackmail, over DiCaprio’s older, more matured, world-weary dream expert.
It’s just weird how completely dominated he is by her even though she should be totally at his mercy given their positions.
Even his long-time comrades couldn’t or wouldn’t bare his secrets without his permission, yet he repeatedly caves to the n00b for no apparent reason. I found it completely out of character.

Joe: Mmmm…I thought they set up his character as being on the brink of a breakdown and while he had the others fooled, Ellen was possibly more talented than he was.
I thought it made sense that she found his weak points in part because he wanted them to be found.

Steve: I didn’t.
I also didn’t buy that if his issues were such obviously major threats to their job, that his other friends, who knew way more about shared dreaming than she did, wouldn’t know they were in danger.

Joe: I think they knew they were in danger, and that their jobs were full of danger.
I don’t think they had any clue how difficult things were this time.

Steve: In the opening scene, his right-hand man witnesses Cobb’s subconscious destroy their whole job.
Then he just seems to forget that that happened, while Ellen Page makes it her personal mission to blackmail Cobb with what everyone seems to already know about.
So that didn’t really make sense.
But more than the logic problems of the experts not noticing what the newbie did, was just that I didn’t accept Leo allowing her in.

Joe: Well, I thought they established the girl as intelligent, even more so than the other two male leads.
I thought it made sense that she could penetrate Leo’s persona because she had no emotional attachment to him, or any history with him.

Steve: You could explain it that way, but I didn’t feel that the movie did so.
I felt that all the characters came off as highly intelligent (which, btw, is a HUGE compliment to any film) and therefore I didn’t buy that the people closest to him didn’t know the danger he presented.

Joe: I think they knew, but it was the degree of trouble that they didn’t know.

Steve: They could have even suggested that they did know, but trusted him enough to go in anyway.

Joe: I think the film was all about degrees, and slight adjustments made a huge difference.
They were aware of some, but not all of the degrees.

Steve: Okay, that’s the second thing.
Why did Ellen Page automatically know that Cobb’s wife presented a severe threat to everyone’s safety when I still don’t understand why?
Cobb is never allowed to know the specifics of the dream geography because if Mal ever knew her way around the dream, it would ruin everything.
Why is that?
Mal’s motivation is that she wants Cobb to stay in creepy subbasement dreamland with her forever.
So why does constantly attacking the dream help her further that goal?
It made no sense.
We see her do it once at the beginning, then at the end we find out what she’s all about, but it still doesn’t explain the way she behaves or why everyone’s terrified of her.

Joe: Because Mal was DiCaprio’s subconscious and it would try to protect him by harming everyone else.
It attacked foreign entities. That’s what everyone’s subconscious did, only everything in a non-Leo dream world would be a foreign entity.
I’m actually surprised you don’t understand that, that was one of the easier things to get I thought.

Steve: I don’t agree. The film never established anything of the sort.

Joe: Wait, when Page went into Leo’s dreams, Page was attacked and Leo had no control over his thoughts.
If one of Leo’s subconscious thoughts was introduced into another world, everything would be foreign, meaning everything would be at risk and Leo would have no control.

Steve: That’s an interesting interpretation, but it’s too great a leap. The scene you’re referring to established that the primary dreamer’s (i.e., the target’s) subconscious projections would attack foreign entities, because in that scene they were in Leo’s dream.
The idea that your subconscious being in someone else’s dream is a threat was never solidified.

Joe: It’s inferred.

Steve: Nope.
Not clear.
In fact, I suspect that if I were to ask Chris Nolan why it was bad for Mal to know the dream geography, he might give me a different answer than what you just did.

Joe: The subconscious beings are said to be protecting the dreamer, so if they are mindless protection, they would seek to protect what they understand to be the dreamer, which isn’t very much.
And you can’t say nope.
Nope is frustrating.

Steve: Sorry, I think you’re filling in gaps in the movie’s logic that the movie should be filling in for you.

Joe: I disagree.

Steve: Well, there’s that.

Joe: While this isn’t saying very much, it’s easily the best movie of the summer…so far.

Steve: I absolutely agree with that.
But back to the bitchfest. Another problem – and this is something it took me a while to put my finger on -

Joe: Ugh…what?

Steve: I was really disappointed that early on there was a line about how the dream is more about “feeling” than sight and sound, but that’s never demonstrated in any way. The dreams didn’t feel like dreams. They just looked like normal scenes.
Everything was very logical and straightforward and made perfect sense. The few times something fantastic and unreal does happen, like a train driving down Main Street or gravity pulling the wrong direction, we’re told this is bad, because these kinds of things will risk cluing the mark in on the fact that he’s dreaming.
I don’t know about you, but my dreams are NEVER straight narratives that take place in any sort of logical space. They just SEEM to make sense while I’m in them, even though characters are constantly turning into one another, locations are shifting, non-threatening things are terrifying, mundane things seem ecstatic, etc.
I wanted to see more of that in the film, but instead everything plays like a heist movie with pretty much the same physical rules as real life.
That’s more of a direct critique of Nolan’s vision than any sort of plot hole or weak storytelling.
But I do wish there had been more cool dream-type stuff happening.

Joe: I thought about that, but if things got too fantastic, then it’s the Matrix with dreams, which it already sort of was. I appreciated that they treated dreams as less fantastic and more a spin on reality.
I was on the fence. They treated all dreams as mundane dreams, but it might have been too big of a stretch to throw in a purple dinosaur or a knife throwing rabbi.
The film was already 150 minutes.

Steve: I would have been more happy with it if they had explained it as a necessary aspect of shared dreaming.
That would have made it totally fine for me.
Like, in a shared dream, the architect is responsible for maintaining some semblance of reality in order to maintain stability and make it possible for everyone’s mind to interpret it the same way.
But they never got into that or any other explanation.

Joe: Well, I think if you’re going to make a story about dreams or supernatural occurrences, you’re going to have to throw out some stuff.
I think here, they threw out most of the fantastic, which I was fine with.
It’s the creator’s choice I suppose.

Steve: Yeah, but then why did they have the line early on about how it was more about feeling than seeing, only to demonstrate the exact opposite for the rest of the movie?
It’s not a huge deal, but I think it was something of a weakness on Nolan’s part.
It wouldn’t have added any length but it would have added to the effects budget.
So maybe that’s it.

Joe: Can I make a statement that will undoubtedly offend you?

Steve: Sure.

Joe: You sent me a text earlier about how the many positive reviews and the many people that raved about it bugged you.
I know how you feel, but I think it’s a bad habit people our age have when stuff like that happens.
We don’t like when there is too much positive, or too much love shown to a film/band/politician.
I know when everyone is calling a B+ an A+ it’s annoying, but I don’t think it should bug you that much.

Steve: If you’re saying that I’m looking for flaws out of a spirit of rebellion, you’re 100% right.
And it doesn’t bug me that much.
But it does automatically make me more critical.

Joe: Yeah, I am the same way.
But… isn’t that a bad thing we’re doing?

Steve: No.
I mean, sometimes it can be, but it can also help keep us grounded.
In this case, I sincerely don’t believe that this movie is the greatest movie ever made.
I don’t even think it’s the greatest movie Chris Nolan’s ever made.

Joe: I agree.
But, it’s really good. And I think when everyone likes something, it’s now cool to find major flaws. I think that’s a bad habit our generation has. Not that we should be sheep, but that the desire to rebel or critique is a little too strong sometimes.

Steve: Yeah, but I’m aware of that in myself and I feel that I sufficiently kept that instinct in check in this case.
My motivation is less about tearing down the movie than it is about pointing out that it’s not Citizen Freaking Kane.

Joe: I agree that it’s not.

Steve: I don’t want to detract from the movie’s accomplishments at all.
I just kind of have to take up the complainy role in this conversation because you’re playing good cop.

Joe: However, look at its competition so far this year.
Sequels of sequels, remakes, the fucking mutant A-Team.
All crap.
It’s a sliding scale I think, but with the exception of a film that’s coming out August 13.
A little film starring a little actor named Sylvester Stallone.

Steve: Don’t call him little to his face or he’ll reach up and stab you in the neck.

Joe: My lower neck.

Steve: All in all, I give Inception a B or maybe a B+.

Joe: Yeah, it wasn’t a perfect movie, but really good. And I’m glad neither of us bothered to get into a “did the top fall over or keep spinning at the end” conversation.
That would have been annoying.

Steve: It was really engaging and I didn’t lose focus on it at any point, even though I had been fasting for three days and had a massively painful ear infection.

Joe: Ouch.

Steve: Which basically means it was really freaking good, because both of those things should have made it really hard to pay attention to a movie.

Joe: Anyway, I’m gonna take a nap and maybe..THE EXPENDABLES IS GONNA BE AWESOME.

Steve: Yup.

Joe: We’ve had our intelligent, challenging summer movie. Now it’s time to reinvent the action movie.

Steve: Oh yeah, since you brought it up, I also thought the last shot with the top spinning was unnecessary.

Joe: Yeah, me too.

Steve: They had gone the whole movie without ever bringing up the standard “how do you know you’re not dreaming when you think you’re awake” question that all dream movies inevitably harp on.

Joe: Yeah.

Steve: Then in the last shot they go and smack us in the face with the most overused faux-philosophical mind-bender in movie history.

Joe: So stupid.
I agree, very annoying.
But, I can forget the last 7 seconds.

Steve: So, what letter grade would give the movie?

Joe: B+/A-, low A- though, like an 89.5 number grade.

Steve: Oh.
So almost the same as me.
Despite my complaints.

Joe: Slightly higher than you. Not a solid A. I feel like I should have been impacted spiritually to get a good A.

Steve: Yeah, good wording.

Joe: But it was Citizen Kane compared to the last two or three months of movies.

Steve: No doubt.
This is the shittiest movie year ever so far.

Joe: Yeah. I mean the Planet of the Apes summer was bad, but not like this.

Steve: Inception is probably going to sweep at the Oscars just because there’s no competition.

Joe: Agreed.
It’ll at least get nominated for Best Picture.
At least.
And Best Director.

Steve: I think I feel about Inception the way Dan Roemer felt about The Hurt Locker.

Joe: I still haven’t seen Hurt Locker.

Steve: Which is basically: Yeah, it was really good, but that should be the baseline for how movies should be. This should be the least we expect from any movie that sees a major release. The best picture nominees should be several levels above even this.

Joe: I agree.

Steve: But sadly, we don’t live in a world of mostly goods and a few greats.

Joe: I know.

Steve: We live in a world of mostly shit and a few goods and a very few greats.

Joe: It’s disappointing that this film was really good, but nothing has come close this year.
Well, maybe not nothing, but you know what I mean.

Steve: Yeah.

Joe: It’s not as if I can name even one or two other films I think should be nominated for Best Picture.

Steve: I can tell you Toy Story 3 will be.
Other than that, who knows?

Joe: Can they nominate a threeqel?
Hey, I really do have to take a nap. I’ll talk to you tomorrow dude.

Steve: If they do ten nominees again this year, who knows?
Aight.
Later.

Predators Released Today!




Joe: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10012256-predators/
Next weekend?

Steve: I might go this weekend.
Next weekend is Inception.

Joe: Oh right.

Steve: Sarah and I have a deal.
I will see Inception if she will see Predators.

Joe: I think Inception will be really good and Predators will be better than Predator 2 and those AVP movies.

Steve: I know I should want to see Inception anyway, but I just can’t bring myself to care about that movie.
No matter how many good reviews it gets.
I think it’s just because they’ve been playing the same two trailers for a year.
And they’ve still barely told us anything about it.

Joe: But don’t we get annoyed when trailers tell use the whole story? I sorta of like that.

Steve: Yeah, but there’s a middle ground.
You don’t have to tell me the whole story to tell me the premise.
All I know about Inception is something about dreams and a city gets folded in half.
But I think Predators will be awesome.
It’s gotten all good reviews so far.
And more importantly, Robert Rodriguez has promised to restore the Predator franchise to its pre-spin-off glory.
Which means he, like the rest of the actual sci-fi fans of the world, is wondering why we should care about yet another Aliens Vs. Predator movie or video game or comic book or whatever when there hasn’t been a legit Predator movie since the 80′s.
I think he’s about to fix that problem.
And even that Danny Glover movie was just kind of weird.
Not terrible, exactly.
Just… weird.

Joe: It annoyed me.

Steve: It set the tone for Predator lore to come.
Which is either good or bad.

Joe: I think the overall problem with Predator movies is that the draw of the Predators is also their downfall. They toy with humanity because they’re stronger and more advanced. But, who the hell wants to pay $12 to see humans get their asses kicked by Predators for two hours?

Steve: Um… everyone?

Joe: Dude, the second Predator movie made no money.

Steve: Yeah, but that was because it had Danny Glover replacing Arnold.
The problem isn’t the concept, it’s the execution.

Joe: The first movie at least put our strongest human against a teenage Predator and they came out relatively even.
The AVP movies were kinda shitty because all anyone wanted to see was 10,000 Aliens vs. 10,000 Predators and we got some shitty actors talking for way too long.

Steve: Exactly.
AVP can go screw itself.
That was a bad idea in the first place AND they didn’t do it right anyway.

Joe: I’m saying you’ve got to give humans at least a fighting chance to survive, and it looks like that’s what this movie does.

Steve: Yeah, exactly.
Just like the Arnold movie.

Joe: Right, I think we agree.

Steve: I liked Predator 2 in concept, but I’d have to actually watch it again to know how good or bad it really was.
I suspect a lot of the “bad” was actually just “dated.”
Because it took place in the city and all the gangbangers had brightly colored mohawks.

Joe: I’m saying the problem with the last 3 Predatorish movies was that humans seemed helpless.

Steve: For my money, the best Predator story since the first movie was a little comic book called Batman vs. Predator.
Which sounds like just another silly comic book crossover but was, in fact, the shiznit.

Joe: I remember that short.

Steve: No, it was a comic.
It was basically the same concept as Predator 2, but better executed.

Joe: Yeah, but I remember the short.

Steve: Oh, Batman: Dead End.
Yeah that was a cool short, but it also had Aliens in it, so screw it.

Joe: Right.

Steve: Batman vs. Predator was just Predator 2, but with Batman instead of Danny Glover.
Predator comes to the big city and starts murdering all the most powerful people.
Mob bosses, boxing champions, etc.
Until he finally targets Batman.

Joe: Ah.
Better concept.

Steve: Several Batman/Predator fights ensue.
Batman loses most of them.
Anyway, I’d better get a copy of Predator for tonight.
Sarah’s never seen it.

Joe: Really?
It’s on all the time.
It’s one of the top three Arnold movies.
Oh, there’s a wicked list.
Top 3-5 Arnold movies.

Steve: Predator, Terminator one and two.

Joe: Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Steve: Well, it depends on what we mean by “top.”

Joe: Maybe if you go to 5 it gets tougher for 4 and 5.

Steve: After them I’d say True Lies.

Joe: I liked Total Recall.
Maybe the first Conan.

Steve: Leaving out Twins and Kindergarten Cop on the assumption that we’re talking about action movies.

Joe: Yeah.

Steve: Okay, yeah here’s my list:
1. Terminator 2
2. Conan the Barbarian
3. Predator
4. Terminator
5. Total Recall
6. True Lies

Joe: Mine:
Terminator 2
Predator
Terminator 1
Conan the Barbarian
Total Recall
True Lies was good though

Steve: Yeah, I’m iffy on whether Conan or Predator should be #2, actually.
They’re both amazing movies.
Conan was the father of a new genre of sword-and-sorcery movies, AND it was the first movie to make Arnold a movie star.
But then Predator was one of the single best action movies of the greatest era of action movies.

Joe: True.
You know what would be terrible, Arnold in a Star Trek movie.

Steve: Yes, Arnold as Spock.
No, Arnold as Scotty.

Joe: Wouldn’t that be the worst thing you’ve ever seen?

Steve: Yes.
Yes it would.
Anyway, I’ve got to get in the shower now, but I leave you with this:

And this:

Alright, Who Brought the Sierra Mist?

Steve: So.

Joe: Earthquake.
That’s what.

Steve: That’s what Sarah just said.
Didn’t feel it here.

Joe: I’m on the 19th floor
I felt it.

Steve: Anyway.

Joe: What’s up?

Steve: Barbecue time has come and gone again.
Which means I have to ask you a question.

Joe: Yes, I shit a burger.

Steve: No, not that question.
The question is, Joe…
How many Sierra Mists do you want when you come over on Saturday?

Joe: mother fucker

Steve: Mother.
Fucker.

Joe: I hate that shit man.

Steve: It’s a whole unopened 12-pack.
Again.
It’s like someone read our blog and brought it just to spite us.
So far nobody has owned up to it.

Joe: Dude, who brings that crap?

Steve: I actually suspect it brought itself.
I’m sure I’d know if any of my friends were… that way.
Plus, Sierra Mist is a sonovabitch.
Bringing itself to my BBQ is exactly the kind of thing it would do.

Joe: Sierra Mist just caused an earthquake.

Steve: Earlier today, Sierra Mist caused an accident on the Metro Blue Line and made 4000 people late for work.

Joe: Sierra Mist makes collect phone calls to 7-Up and never pays him back.

Steve: Sierra Mist prevented Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Jackie Chan, Wesley Snipes, Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel from joining the cast of the Expendables.
And he cast the A-Team movie without Mr. T.

Joe: Sierra Mist optioned the rights to Airbender, only to hire a down on his luck director and a white kid to ruin it.

Steve: Sierra Mist heard some people think of Hitler as the literal antichrist and started punching llama after llama until he gradually surpassed Hitler’s evil. Just for spite.

Joe: Sierra Mist voted for the Green Party in the last six presidential elections.

Steve: Sierra Mist framed Carmen San Diego.

Joe: Sierra Mist baked three dozen cookies for Mrs. Schneider’s elementary school class and put his own pubic hairs into the batter.

Steve: Sierra Mist directed Pirates of the Caribbean 3 while Gore Verbinski was tied up in his basement.

Joe: Sierra Mist took my mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never called her again.

Steve: Sierra Mist had $30,000 to invest in my movie Gray, but he spent it all on Vienna sausages and Cabbge Patch Kid dolls, which he rolled into banana leaves and smoked.

Joe: Sierra Mist is on the sex offender list.

Steve: Twice.
Sierra Mist is wanted for drug smuggling in 134 countries.
It used to be 138, but he toppled a few foreign governments.

Joe: Sierra Mist built the Iron Curtain, melted it down to make scrap and then built a statue of the founder of the KKK outside Nashville.

Steve: Sierra Mist doesn’t care about black people.

Joe: Sierra Mist beat up a homeless person, blamed it on the police and then raped a bunny rabbit.

Steve: That bunny rabbit went on to get elected to Congress, where he betrayed every principal of the Democratic party, then blew his brains out on national television.

Joe: Sierra Mist is both pro and anti Prop 8.

Steve: Sierra Mist won’t help me straighten up my office, no matter how many times I ask him.

Joe: Sierra Mist invented cold sores.

Steve: Sierra Mist got David Lee Roth kicked out of Van Halen.

Joe: Sierra Mist keeps propogating the idea that KISS is a good band and that people want more reality shows based on people made famous by other reality shows.

Steve: Sierra Mist is the chief of programming for NBC.

Joe: Sierra Mist is a douche bag.

Steve: I hate Sierra Mist.
It’s like 7-Up took a whiz into some Mountain Dew, then someone spilled the Mountain Dew and had to refill it with seltzer water and poison.

Joe: We have 7-Up, Sprite and vomit, why on earth do we need Sierra Mist?

Steve: I seriously think it’s a test to see how long they can sell a competing product called “Sierra Mist” before “Mountain Dew” figures how to sue the living shit out of them.

Joe: Well, at least we got another blog post out of it.

Steve: Word.