Steve: Hey we need to have a conversation about my Kickstarter project so we can post it to WKJT.
And our Orlando and Portugal-centered fan base can pledge money to my cause.
Joe: What’s the conversation?
Steve: Oh I don’t know.
Anything to give me an excuse to put it there.
People who think we’re funny might want to read my novel.
Which is not funny at all.
Joe: Why don’t you post this conversation about how you’re a greedy whore who just wants people’s money so you can write about a giant water flee or whatever.
Steve: First of all, do you mean flea?
Second of all, there’s no giant water flea.
Third of all, yes.
Joe: Aren’t you writing Cloverfield the Movie?
And no, I mean Flee, as in the Water, we have to get out of here because there’s a giant flea coming.
Steve: No, that was J.J. Abrams.
And it was several years ago.
Joe: Book based on the movie?
Steve: What?
I’m lost about which version of Cloverfield I’m not writing.
There IS a giant monster in my novel.
But he is not a flea.
Or a flee.
Nor does he live in the water.
He’s also not a major character.
But PIVOTAL.
See, I’m teasing the novel now.
Dropping just enough information about the plot to make people interested without giving things away.
Joe: Is it a problem if I’m your best friend and I don’t care?
Steve: Kind of.
Well, no.
But it’s a problem if you don’t pretend to care while we’re in public.
Joe: Can I ask you a serious problem?
Steve: Yes.
Joe: okay.
okay.
Let’s pretend I’ve slept.
Can I ask you a serious question?
Steve: That’s fine too.
Joe: If you get rich before me, can I mooch off of you? Nothing too crazy, just like six figures so I can help you do shit.
Steve: We’ll work something out.
I think I owe you for a couple movie tickets from several months ago.
We’ll call it interest.
Joe: Sweet.
Of course, if I hit it big, you’re totally the Rob Schneider to my Adam Sandler.
Steve: Aw, come on.
At least let me be a Ben Stiller.
That way I wouldn’t have to costar in Judge Dredd.
