Joe: Butt plugs?
Steve: What about them?
Joe: Hold on a second…
Butt….p..lugs?
As in, plugs for the butt?
Steve: Why do you keep saying “butt plugs”?
Joe: Wait…butt plugs?
Steve: I know nothing of any plugging of any butts.
Joe: And he says, I don’t like the cut of your jib. and so I says, that’s too bad baby, cause it’s the only one I got!
Bad is good, down with government!
Steve: Well, all this and a villain too.
Joe: Bornio, sweet Bornio. You wanted a banana, you just grabbed one out of a tree.
Steve: You… are….
BarryBarryBarryBarryBarryBarryBarryBarryBarryBarry
BARRY!
Joe: Who’s the jerk that calls himself the Tick?
Steve: I am that jerk! Who wants to know?
I said PUT IT IN THE HAPPY BOX!!
Joe: Remember the good old days chum? You would hand me something, and I’d hand it right back to you.
Steve: Okay. If you’re so evil… why don’t you just…
EAT THIS KITTEN!!!
‘meow’
Joe: Best line ever!
Steve: Bar none.
Joe: Can we steal that one?
Or better yet…
Can we finish our fucking script?
Steve: I’m going to be working on it this week. As soon as I get these rants out of my system.
Speaking of which, did you read the thing I wrote about Santa Monica Blvd?
Joe: Yeah, it was pretty good, but like your problem with me, we’ve both heard each other’s humor too much to judge properly.
Steve: True.
Joe: Can I tell you something?
Steve: Ok.
Joe: I want to have sex with a kitten.
Named Victor.
Steve: You’re evicted.
Again.
Joe: While eating alphabet soup.
And watching that fake Ghostbusters cartoon from the 80′s.
Steve: That’s a lot of things to be doing at once.
Joe: Okay, never mind.
Let’s lose the cat.
Steve: Good idea.
Joe: Replace it with one of those armadillos.
Named Chester.
Steve: One of which armadillos?
Joe: Replace the kitten with an armadillo.
Named Chester.
Chester Huffington
Esq.
Steve: Dude, I’m not letting you bone Chester Huffington Esq.
He’s a good friend of mine.
Plus his hard shell protects him from predators.
The eating kind, not the sexual kind.
Joe: Okay, forget Chester…how about a dolphin named Charles Corncobber, whom we call St. Charles as a gag.
I want to have a dolphin nicknamed St. Charles, Steve.
Steve: Okay, but no humping.
Joe: Okay.
Or maybe a catfish named Gwyneth Paltrow.
Steve: Or maybe Gwyneth Paltrow.
Joe: No, she’s married to the Coldplay dude and has a kid named Apple.
Steve: Which is retarded.
The name, not the kid.
Joe: I want a kid named Japanese Plum with the bassist from the band Wham!
Steve: I mean, maybe the kid’s retarded. I haven’t heard.
Joe: Gotta go, boss is coming
